January 2011
43 posts
throw a chair through a window, then jump in after...
My new formula for escaping every awkward/unbearable moment in my fly-by-night life.
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A Long Time Til' Sunrise
The train ride into Birmingham was the worst travel experience I’d ever suffered through to date. There was a blocking of the tracks. Another locomotive that carried coal and propane had busted a chain of axels on one of the carts, nearly sending a ten-ton payload of precious coal careening off the hilltop. I could have give less of a fuck even if the whole train had been in danger of capsize. All...
Got touched by a hazy shade of God please help me change
my first day of not being a writer has gone absurdly bad. i’ve submitted fiction to six online magazines in this past hour. who i am i trying to amuse, here?
it’s my last drop of poison, so i’ll drink it in two gulps. savoring the annihilation on my lips.
frail-beauty:
Out there in the light Awaiting the sunset At war with myself In love with the concept
“I was as cold and empty as the spaces between stars.”
– -raymond chandler, the long goodbye.
this sentence has been running around my head lately, it’s jam packed with catharsis and bitter absence. just like this man.
a letter of suspension
this week i forgot the reason i had for living and persisting as i do. last week the same thing happened. the week before that, i thought i was on the brink of a fascinating new world of inspiration. ive taken every recent downfall and mishap into consideration and have decided to forego professional writing until such a time has occurred when i’ve learned to use it correctly. when i say...
here’s to the last act of foolish recklessness for the rest of the month.
i give up. i’ve gained nothing but dead weight trying to be a writer. dead weight, a rotting jaw, and some heart problems. even during moments where it all comes together and you’re suddenly brilliant, daring, and unstoppable are moments that expire the moment you try and share them. i can’t share this with anyone; the frustration and doubt, the void left in the sacrifice, the...
"Young Money" H.P. von Lovecraft,
was a man who had the courage and fortitude to contain a whole auxiliary universe inside himself for the purpose of enticing the imagination of his readers beyond it’s presupposed boundaries. It is by a blaring display of human endurance that he managed to avoid suicide or institutionalization. I have such deep gratitude for the man, and regret my having missed him during his lifetime. Now...
i am the grand dispenser of time. every second slaughter by my hungry mind of martyr. no hour exists which can oppose me; i am the winder of the clock and the vibrations in the air. when the hourglass ends i’ll be left to cradle the passing gravity dispersed at whim.
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gonna go take a long stroll and front like a private detective cruisin’ down the sidewalk. I hope i get hired for something. That would be so unwise, so absurd; first i’d get shot in the leg, then booked on the charge of investigating without a license. And i’d be so thrilled.
Confessions of a Delusional Masochist.: Embrace... →
frail-beauty:
Embrace the darkness, for this is what you wished for. Shun the light, for it brings you nothing but insecurities. Indulge in loneliness and self-pity, for it makes you feel meaningful. Ignore those trying to be there for you, for they don’t understand the need… The need to be alone. The need to…
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My Complete Fiction Anthology, circa 2006-2011
∳-Index:
2006
*”Black Magic & The Last Face You’ll Ever See”; 1144 words, 5 pages.
*”Salvation In A Broken Glass”; 1270 words, 5 pages, (2/22/2006)
*”Midnight Angel”; 1378 words, 3 pages, (4/17/2006)
*”Killing the Cat”; 853 words, 2 pages, (10/1/2006)
*”Johnnie & Roxy”;...
today i talked to a girl made of starlight and hopeful promises, who smokes as many cigarettes as i do and isn’t afraid to call me on my elegant bullshit.
I’m as affable as a newborn cloud up in this motherfucker
today i killed a history
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i'm sick of your optimism
(the below section was written by an anonymous friend of a friend)
Why is everything more interesting at night? I don’t know, but I’ve decided that anything post-3 AM carries a certain romance. And I’ve unwittingly become addicted to it. A night owl by blood. We are the dreamers of the world, and we’re lucky to have morning people that like to get things done. We’d be...
when laying down to sleep
Those people who clog the air around you pores are more than numbers hung on motel doors. Every writhing, savage, human being you see is but a fragment of that mirror; one as dense and as deep as any of your television-faced static dreams. For every person you sought to shunt while making your retreat, these nightmares will brand another tragedy deep within the folds of a blackout winter’s...
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“So imma have another all-nighter for breakfast, open up a head trip and revel in...”
– “RPM”, rhymes by Slug Sep Seven
I’ll either learn to make peace with the arrogance of the rising sun or be fated to punctuate all my nocturnal crusades with this same feeling of bitter reproach.
On a day this beautiful, however, i can forgive myself for not having dreamt last night.
unfettered
time moves just the way i need,
above and below the folds of eternity’s terminal need,
taking lapses in breath just to suspend the world
,every molecule hung against the fractured ceiling stars,
that space which separates sleeping and dreaming angels breaks,
watching all of heaven’s impatient weight trickle down fire escapes.
whichever commodities appease my taste, i’ll...
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"you ain't gotta go to church to get to know yo'...
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Packed three bullets in my holster gun and broke out into the neighborhood, dodging onlookers like a street serpent. How could I possibly lose my wallet? Me, always together in the proceedings of domestic affairs. Devilry is abound here, I can smell it gliding up from the sidewalks. And so many encounters with women! My life runs on the clock of some ethereal scale; one thing dips and all other...
I’ve forgotten how to write sentences. This is the biggest relief i’ve felt in last 44 hours. I hope i can forget English one day, too. This world would become so much friendlier if that happened that i might never trust my sense of intuition again.
There’s another great conviction to demolish. I’ve been doing it all wrong these past nineteen years. From here on out...
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“Can I stop my life so I can just be with you?
Let’s hightail to Hawaii on...”
– “Future 86”, by Bomb the Music Industry
It's fully occurred to me
That this semester has the potential to be the most important four months of my present academic career. There are scholarships to compete for, programs to qualify for, publication opportunities to be seized, and sanity to be lost in the bucketloads. I have the option to play it safe and stay under the radar this spring, or crash down the doors with guns blazing and apologies nowhere to be found.
...
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tidbits of my life, vol. I
So little more than four minutes ago i cut myself shaving for the first time in my whole life. I dragged the razor sideways across my chin like a genius and made a tiny yet pestering gash just blow my bottom lip. I stared at the mirror for a few moments completely dumbfounded at my own incompetence. Nothing will make you feel like the champion of all dingbats like cutting yourself shaving. I...
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Congestion
I am being faced with an illusory force of opposition tonight and confess my frustration at its obstructive placement between myself and my goals. In a single word i feel “congested”; let it be know that for the previous five days i have been fending off an intrusive cold virus which has caused my body to become overstocked with mucus and moisture, though i don’t believe that...
The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English →
forgethowtodie:
my-grey-words:
52hearts:
Ailurophile A cat-lover. Assemblage A gathering. Becoming Attractive. Beleaguer To exhaust with attacks. Brood To think alone. Bucolic In a lovely rural setting. Bungalow A small, cozy cottage. Chatoyant Like a cat’s eye. Comely Attractive. Conflate To blend together. Cynosure A focal point of admiration. Dalliance A brief love affair. Demesne...
those careless dreams
I dreamt about Her last night, of all the places to dream about her I never expected Shreveport to be the one. I was being picked up by a shuttle bus whilst wandering my usual paths in some ghost town setting. The bus was filled with women I didn’t know who appeared to be close to my age. The driver was a young woman as well, who greeted me brightly and asked me where my destination was as I...
“Beware, lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow.”
– Aesop (via reverendcreep)
